i think im kinda sad

i dunno. i haven't been sad for a while. i feel like real sadness. its an ugly feeling. it makes me sick. and i really hate the person responsible for making me sick. i'm mad because i saw them together today. its almost like i knew it, but i was hoping that it wouldn't happen. you can see the natural bond between them. the strong connection. how they cant let go of each other. its ugly. and disgusting. and i don't envy them. that's not what i want; their relationship sucks. i think i'm sad because i'm still in love. seriously, did someone put love potion in my chocolate milk at lunch like 3 years ago? im sad. very sad.a hopeless romantic, kinda, in a way. i hope to emphasize the word hopeless. its what i am. but i still love myself. everyone can suck my non-existent dick.